I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
my poor anus
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
