That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
