We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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