i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
