you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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