Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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