the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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