mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
