I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
