I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
