this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
