Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
