Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
