hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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