Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
