oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
