hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
