Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
