pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
