Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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