Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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