White coat. Heels.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
