I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
