Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
