I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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