is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
my liver is dry heaving
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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