You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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