You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
