so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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