I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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