$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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