Me too!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
