I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
