The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
