I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
