PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
