okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
