i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
