It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
