Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
