YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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