im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
