so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
