So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
