so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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