he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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