just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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