did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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