Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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