I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
