I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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